Unless Miley Cyrus Returns to Twitter, Fuzzy Will Die
Every celebrity has lunatic fans, but pole-dancing tween queen Miley Cyrus seems to have inspired a particularly fervent devotion among the completely unchained. First there was her extremely creepy stalker, and now she’s got someone threatening to kill their beloved cat if she doesn’t come back to Twitter.
Why did Miley leave Twitter? Who the hell cares? Oh, wait. This dude (or chick?) clearly does. And if Miley doesn’t come back by November 16th, Fuzzy is going to get it.
The other day I asked myself: ‘What can I do to bring Miley back to Twitter?’ Fan video? Petitions? Letters? That never works. Heck, Miley even made her own video about never wanting to use Twitter again. Then I looked at my cat, Fuzzy and I realized, maybe Fuzzy can help. Fuzzy can make the ultimate sacrifice for this cause. It was very difficult for me, you see, as I sincerely love Fuzzy. But my mind is made up. I could always get another cat, but nothing can replace Miley’s tweets for me!
The idea is very simple. I’ve set a deadline of November 16, 2009, when Fuzzy will part with his life and become a meal. I intend to make a cat dish according to our ethnic cuisine. Check out the Recipes section for more information. Also, you can view some pictures of Fuzzy here.
I do not consider myself a cruel person and I do love my cat. Fuzzy will receive quick and swift death and I’ll try to minimize his suffering.
Wondering what, exactly, this unnamed psycho fan is going to do with Fuzzy? Well, you need look no further than MileySaveFuzzy.com, where he/she has posted a recipe for ‘Braised Cat’. This fan swears that it isn’t a hoax or a joke (though, you know how that goes).
Hey, eating cats is as normal as eating chickens in some parts of the world – and there’s not necessarily anything wrong with that. In fact, it’s kind of messed up that we place such sentimental significance on certain species and are totally blasé about the treatment of the ones we eat.
But eating your pet for Miley freaking Cyrus’ TWITTER ACCOUNT? Maybe you should marinate yourself and let Fuzzy put you out of your misery.
Link MileySaveFuzzy.com
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This entry was posted on Monday, November 2nd, 2009 at 11:00 am and is filed under Consciousness, Green Living, Health, Science, Spirituality. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. Both comments and pings are currently closed.
